| The most difficult part of being self employed is usually the fact that you are working ALL THE TIME! There is no punching out or "I'll get back to it on Monday". We have not included a "work at home" category on this website because if you are self employed, you are working from home. You might have an office, restaurant, or store where you prefer to do your work, but I guarantee there is a corner (and in most cases an entire room!) in your home where mail, files, ideas, and trade magazines gather and you probably spend more time than you like there working. This was not too much of a problem until you had kids. Now there is the added stress of having crayon all over your ad proof or spilled orange juice on your new brochures. And because you spend all your time working in that corner or room, your little one is sure to be right there by your side. We have tried being reasonable, "Mommy is on the phone honey, wait your turn please!" and "Where is my stapler? I told you to stay off daddy's desk." It not only leads to frustration on your side, but resentment of you working can start to build up if your "work" is constantly biting into your child's time with you. So how do you balance work and family? We have found the most obvious way to do this is to have a schedule and stick to it. This is not always possible of course, because there are going to be emergencies that come up and you will have to deal with them, but your children will be better equipped to deal with that if they feel that they've had their fair share of mommy or daddy already. Show them how you are going to give them your undivided attention and explain to them that, "We have about an hour to have lunch and play a game, and after that, I need to make some phone calls and do some work. What would you like to do while I'm working?" It's always much easier when they know what to expect and they've prepared themselves for it. When it is play time, be sure to get down on their level and PLAY! Childhood should include lots of unstructured play and connecting with nature. Obviously you will need to wait until your kids are at least 4 or 5 before they are going to be able to be on their own for much time. It is not fair to expect a 2 or 3 year old to quietly play alone for much longer than 10-15 minutes. And for smaller tykes, time is not an issue. In fact, any amount of time that you are not focused on them is way too much. This is why you'll need a support network of people who can care for your small children or if you are an exceptional multi-tasker, you'll need to be satisfied with trying to work while a TV show has caught their attention or while they are napping. Realistically, you will not be performing at your best either of these times. Please believe me, I have tried everything to make that part work because I am frugal and I can't see spending money on babysitting when I'm just sitting right here working. But what ends up happening is I am giving my child 50% and my work 50% and they each deserve 100% which I cannot give to both at the same time. For older kids, a well organized play area can really help out with bins for arts and crafts, puzzles, legos, and playdough. For younger kids, consider daycare if you need to work at home or try arranged playdates with a neighbor child or preschool classmate where you can trade off time with the other child's mother or father and each get a little time "off". In the end, let's remember who we are really working so darn hard for anyway. They will be grown and gone soon enough, but the pile of papers will always be there!! |
Balancing Family Time
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